bk1-chap20

Home
Chap.xx.: IN WHAT WISE HE WAS SAVED FROM PRISON AND TORTURE
            Now when I was brought before the Governor he asked me whence
I came. I said I knew not. Then said he again “Whither wilt thou?” and
again I answered, “I know not.” “What the devil dost thou know, then?”
says he, “What is thy business?” I answered as before, I knew not. He
asked, “Where dost thou dwell?” and as I again answered I knew not, his
countenance was changed, I know not whether from anger or astonishment.
But inasmuch as every man is wont to suspect evil, and specially the
enemy being in the neighbourhood, having just, as above narrated,
captured Gelnhausen and therein put to shame a whole regiment of
dragoons, he agreed with them that held me for a traitor or a spy and
ordered that I should be searched. But when he learned from the soldiers
of the watch that this was already done, and nothing more found on me
than the book there present which they delivered to him, he read a line
or two therein and asked who had given me the book. I answered it was
mine from the beginning: for I had made it and written it. Then he asked,
“Why upon birch-bark?” I answered, because the bark of other trees was
not fitted therefore. “Thou rascal,” says he, “I ask why thou didst not
write on paper.” “Oh!” I answered him, “we had none in the wood.” The
governor asked, “Where in what wood?” And again I paid him in my old coin
and said I did not know. Then the governor turned to some of his officers
that waited on him and said, “Either this is an archrogue, or else a
fool: and a fool he cannot be, that can write so well.” And as he spake,
he turned over the leaves to shew them my fine handwriting, and that so
sharply the hermit’s letter fell out: and this he had picked up, while I
turned pale, for that I held for my chiefest treasure and holy relic.
That the Governor noted and conceived yet greater suspicion of treason,
specially when he has opened and read the letter, “for,” says he, “I
surely know this hand and know that it is written by an officer well
known to me: yet can I not remember by whom.” Also the contents seemed to
him strange and not to be understood: for he said, “this is without a
doubt a concerted language, which none other can understand save him to
whom it is imparted.” Then asking me my name, when I said Simplicissimus,
“Yes, yes,” says he, “thou art one of the right kidney.1 Away, away: put
him at once in irons, hand and foot.”

            So the two before-mentioned soldiers marched off with me to
my bespoken lodging, namely, the lock-up, and handed me over to the
gaoler, which, in accordance with his orders, adorned me with iron bands
and chains on hands and feet, as if I had not had enough to carry with
those that I had already bound round my body. Nor was this way of
welcoming me enough for the world, but there must come hangmen and their
satellites, with horrible instruments or torture, which made my wretched
plight truly grievous, though I could comfort myself with my innocence.
“O! God!” says I to myself, “how am I rightly served! To this end did
Simplicissimus run from the service of God into the world, that such a
misbirth of Christianity should receive the just reward which he hath
deserved for his wantonness! O, thou unhappy Simplicissimus, whither hath
thine ingratitude led thee! Lo, God hath hardly brought thee to the
knowledge of Him and into His service when thou, counterwise, must run
off from his employ and turn thy back on Him. Couldest thou not go on
eating of acorns and beans as before, and so serving thy Creator? Didst
thou not know that thy faithful hermit and teacher had fled from the
world and chosen the wilderness? O stupid stock, thou didst leave it in
the hope to satisfy thy loose desire to see the world. And behold, while
thou thinkest to feed thine eyes, thou must in this maze of dangers
perish and be destroyed, Couldest thou not, unwise creature, understand
before this, that thy ever-blessed teacher would have never left the
world for that hard life which he led in the desert, if he hoped to find
in the world true peace, and real rest, and eternal salvation? O poor
Simplicissimus, go thy way and receive the reward of the idle thoughts
thou hast cherished and thy presumptuous folly. Thou hast no wrong to
complain of, neither any innocence to comfort thee with, for thou hast
hastened to meet thine own torment and the death to follow thereafter.”
So I bewailed myself, and besought God for forgiveness and commended my
soul to Him. In the meanwhile we drew near to the prison, and when my
need was the greatest then was God’s help nearest: for as I was
surrounded with a great multitude of folk to wait till it was opened and
I could be thrust in lo, my good pastor, whose village had so lately been
plundered and burned, must also see what was toward (himself being also
under arrest). So as he looked out of window and saw me, he cried loudly,
“O Simplicissimus, is it thou?”

            When this I heard and saw, I could not help myself, but must
lift up both hands to him and cry, “O father, father, father.” So he
asked what had I done. I answered, I knew not: they had brought me there
of a certainty because I had deserted from the forest. But when he
learned from the bystanders that they took me for a spy, he begged they
would make a stay with me till he had explained my case to the Lord
Governor, for that would be of use for my deliverance and for his, and so
would hinder the Governor from dealing wrongfully with both of us, since
he knew me better than could any man.

Chap. xxi.: HOW TREACHEROUS DAME FORTUNE CAST ON SIMPLICISSIMUS A
FRIENDLY GLANCE
            So ‘twas allowed him to go to the Governor, and a half-hour
thereafter I was fetched out likewise and put in the servitor’s room,
where were already two tailors, a shoemaker with shoes, a haberdasher2
with stockings and hats, and another with all manner of apparel, so that
I might forthwith be clothed. Then took they off my coat, chains and all,
and the hair-shirt, by which the tailors could take their measure aright:
next appeared a barber with his lather and his sweet-smelling soaps, but
even as he would exercise his art upon me came another order which did
grievously terrify me: for it ran, I should put on my old clothes again.
Yet ‘twas not so ill meant as I feared: for there came presently a
painter with all his colours, namely vermilion and cinnabar for my
eyelids, indigo and ultramarine for my coral lips, gamboge and ochre and
yellow lead for my white teeth, which I was licking for sheer hunger, and
lamp-black and burnt unber for my golden hair, white lead for my terrible
eyes and every kind of paint for my weather-coloured coat: also had he a
whole handful of brushes. This fellow began to gaze upon me, to take a
sketch, to lay in a background and to hang his head on one side, the
better to compare his work exactly with my figure: now he changed the
eyes, now the hair, presently the nostrils; and, in a word, all he had
not at first done aright, till at length he had executed a model true to
nature; for a model Simplicissimus was. And not till then might the
barber whisk his razor over me: who twitched my head this way and that
and spent full an hour and a half over my hair: and thereafter trimmed it
in the fashion of that day: for I had hair enough and to spare.  After
that he brought me to a bathroom and cleansed my thin, starved body from
more than three or four years’ dirt. And scarce was he ended when they
brought me a white shirt, shoes and stockings, together with a ruff or
collar, and hat and feather. Like wise the breeches were finely made and
trimmed with gold lace; so all that was wanted was the cloak, and upon
that the tailors were at work with all haste. Then came the cook with a
strong broth and the maid with a cup of drink: and there sat my lord
Simplicissimus like a young count, in the best of tempers. And I ate
heartily though I knew not what they would do with me; for as yet I had
never heard of the “condemned man’s supper,” and therefore the partaking
of this glorious first meal was to me so pleasant and sweet that I cannot
sufficiently express, declare, and boast of it to mankind; yea, hardly do
I believe I ever tasted greater pleasure in my life than then. So when
the cloak was ready I put it on, and in this new apparel shewed such an
awkward figure that it might seem one had dressed up a hedge-stake: for
the tailors had been ordered of intent to make the clothes too big for
me, in the hope I should presently put more flesh on, which, considering
the excellence of my feeding, seemed like to happen, But my forest dress,
together with the chains and all appurtenances, were conveyed away to the
museum, there to be added to other rare objects and antiquities, and my
portrait, of life size, was set hard by.

            So after his supper, his lordship myself was put to bed in
such a bed as I had never seen or heard of in my dad’s house or while I
dwelt with my hermit: yet did my belly so growl and grumble the whole
night through that I could not sleep, perchance for no other reason than
that it knew not yet what was good or because it wondered at the
delightful new foods which had been given to it: but for me, I lay there
quiet until the sweet sun shone bright again (for ‘twas cold) and
reflected what strange adventures I has passed through in a few days, and
how God my Father had so truly helped me and brought me into so goodly an
heritage.

Chap. xxii.: WHO THE HERMIT WAS BY WHOM SIMPLICISSIMUS WAS CHERISHED
            The same morning the Governor’s chamberlain commanded me, I
should go to the before-mentioned pastor, and there learn what his
lordship had said to him in my affair. Likewise he sent an orderly to
bring me to him. Then the pastor took me into his library, and there he
sat down and bade me also sit down, and says he, “My good Simplicissimus,
that same hermit with whom thou didst dwell in the wood was not only the
Lord Governor’s brother-in-law, but also his staunch supporter in war and
his chiefest friend. As it pleased the Governor to tell me, the same from
his youth up had never failed either in the bravery of an heroical
soldier nor in that godliness and piety which became the holiest of me:
which two virtues it is not usual to find united. Yet his spiritual mind,
coupled with adverse circumstances, so checked the course of his earthly
happiness that he rejected his nobility and resigned certain fine estates
in Scotland where he was born, and despised such because all worldly
affairs now seemed to him vain, foolish, and contemptible. In a word, he
hoped to exchange his earthly eminence for a better glory to come, for
his noble spirit had a disgust at all temporal display, and all his
thoughts and desires were set on that poor miserable life wherein thou
didst find him in the forest and wherein thou didst bear him company till
his death. “And in my opinion,” said the pastor, “he had been seduced
thereto by his reading of many popish books concerning the lives of the
ancient eremites.3 Yet will I not conceal from thee how he came into the
Spessart,4 and, in accord with his wish, into such a miserable hermit’s
life, that thou mayest hereafter be able to tell others thereof: for the
second night after that bloody battle of Hochst5 was lost, he came alone
and unattended to my parsonage-house, even as I, my wife, and children
were fallen asleep, and that towards morning, for because of the noise
all over the country which both pursuers and pursued are wont to make in
such cases, we had been awake all the night before and half of this
present one. At first he knocked gently, and then sharply enough, till he
wakened me and my sleep-drunken folk: and when I at his request, and
after short exchange of words, which was on both sides full cautious, had
opened the door, I saw the cavalier dismount from his mettlesome seed.
His costly clothing was as thickly sprinkled with the blood of his
enemies as it was decked with gold and silver; and inasmuch as he still
held his drawn sword in his hand, fear and terror came upon me. Yet when
he sheathed his sword and shewed nothing but courtesy I must wonder that
so noble a gentleman should so humbly beg a poor village pastor for
shelter. And by reason of his handsome person and his noble carriage I
addressed myself to him as to the Count of Mansfield himself; but said
he, he could for this once be not only compared to the Count of Mansfield
in respect of ill fortune but even preferred before him. Three things did
he lament: first, the loss of his lady, and her near her delivery, and
then the loss of his battle; and last of all, that he had not had the
luck to die therein, as did other honest soldiers, for the Evangelical
cause. Then would I comfort him, but saw that his noble heart needed no
comfort: so I set before him what the house afforded and bade them make
for him a soldier’s bed of clean straw, for in no other would he lie
though much he needed rest. The next morning, the first thing he did was
to give me his horse and his money (of which he had with him no mean sum
in gold), and did share divers costly rings among my wife, children, and
servants. This could I not understand in him, seeing that soldiers be
wont far rather to take than to give: and therefore I had doubts whether
to receive so great presents, and gave as a pretext that I had not
deserved do much from him nor could again repay him: besides, said I, if
folk saw such riches, and specially the splendid horse, which could not
be hid, in my possession, many would conclude I had robbed or murdered
him. But he said I should live without care on that score, for he would
protect me from such danger with his own handwriting, yea, and he would
desire to carry away out of my parsonage not even his shirt, let alone
his clothes: and therewith he opened his design to become a hermit. I
fought against that with might and main, for methought such a plan
smacked of Popery, reminding him that he could serve the Gospel more with
his sword, but in vain: for he argued so long and stoutly with me that as
last I gave in and provided him with those books, pictures, and furniture
which thou didst find in his hut. Yet would he take nothing in return for
all that he had presented to me save only the coverlet of wool, under
which he had slept on the straw that night: and out of that he has a coat
made. And my wagon chains (those which he always wore) must I exchange
with him for a golden one whereon he wore his lady’s portrait, so that he
kept for himself neither money nor money’s worth. Then my servant led him
to the wildest part of the wood, and there helped him to build his hut.
And in what manner he there spent his life, and with what help at times I
did assist him, thou knowest as well as I, yea, in part better.

            “Now when lately the Battle of Nordlingen6 was lost and I, as
thou knowest, was clean stripped of all and also evilly handled, I fled
hither for safety; besides, I had here my chief possessions. And when my
ready money was about to fail me, I took three rings and the
before-mentioned chain, together with the portrait that I had from the
hermit, among which was his signet-ring, and took them to a Jew, to turn
them into money. But he, on account of their value and fine workmanship,
took them to the Governor to sell, who forthwith knew the arms and
portrait, and sent for me and asked where I had gotten such treasures. So
I told him the truth and shewed him the hermit’s handwriting or the deed
of gift, and narrated to him all his story; also how he had lived and
died in the wood. Such a tale he could not believe, but put me under
arrest, till he could better learn the truth; and while he was at work
sending out a party to take a survey of the dwelling and to fetch thee
hither, here I beheld thee brought to the tower. Now seeing that the
Governor hath no longer cause to doubt of my story, and seeing that I can
call witness the place where the hermit dwelt, and likewise thee and
other living deponents, and most of all my sexton, which so often
admitted thee and him to the church before day, and specially since the
letter which he found in thy book of prayer doth afford an excellent
testimony not only of the truth, but of the late hermit’s holiness:
therefore he will shew favour to me and thee for the sake of his dear
departed brother-in-law. And now hast thou only to decide what thou
wouldest he should do for thee.  An thou wilt study, he pays the cost:
desirest thou to learn a trade, he will have thee taught one: but if thou
wilt stay with him he will hold thee as his own child: for he said if
even a dog came to him from his departed brother-in-law he would cherish
it.” So I answered, ‘twas all one to me what the Lord Governor would do
with me.

Chap. xxiii.: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS BECAME A PAGE: AND LIKEWISE, HOW THE
HERMIT’S WIFE WAS LOST
            Now did the pastor keep me at his lodging till ten of the
clock before he would go with me to the Governor, to tell him of my
resolve; for so could he be his guest at dinner: for the Governor kept
open house: ‘tis true Hanau7 was then blockaded, and with the common folk
times were so hard (especially with them that had fled for refuge to the
fortress) that some who seemed to themselves to be somewhat, were not
ashamed to pick up the frozen turnip-peelings in the streets, which the
rich had cast way. And my pastor was so lucky that he got to sit by the
Governor at the head of the table, while I waited on them with a plate in
my hand as the chamberlain taught me, to which business I was as well
fitted as an ass to play chess. Yet my pastor made good with his tongue
what the awkwardness of my person failed in. For he said I had been
reared in the wilderness, and had never dwelt among men, and therefore
must be excused, because I could not yet know how to carry myself: yet
the faithfulness I had shewn to the hermit and the hard life I had
endured with him were wonderful, and that alone deserved that folk should
not only have patience with my awkwardness but should even put me before
the finest young nobleman. Furthermore, he related how the hermit had
found all his joy in me because, as he often said, I was so like in face
to his dear lady, and that he had often marveled at my steadfastness and
unchangeable will to remain with him, as also at many other virtues which
he praised in me. Lastly, he could not enough declare with what earnest
fervency the hermit had, just before his death, commended me to him (the
pastor) and had confessed he loved me as his own child. This tickled my
ears so much that methought I had already received satisfaction enough
for all I had endured with the hermit.

            Then the Governor asked, did not his late brother-in-law know
he was commandant of Hanau. “Yea, truly,” answered as coldly (yet with a
joyful face and a gentle smile) as he had never known any Ramsay, so that
even now when I think thereupon, I must wonder at this man’s resolution
and firm purpose, that he could bring his heart to this: not only to
renounce the world but even to put out of his mind his best friend, when
he had him close at hand.”

            Then were the Governor’s eyes full of tears, who yet had no
soft woman’s heart but was a brave and heroical soldier; and says he,
“Had I known he was yet alive and where he was to be found, I would have
had him fetched even against his will, that I might repay his kindnesses:
but since Fortune hath denied me that, I will in his place cherish his
Simplicissimus.” And “Ah!” says he again, “the good cavalier had cause
enough to lament his wife, great with child as she was; for in the
pursuit she was captured by a party of Imperialist troopers, and that too
in the Spessart. Which when I heard, and knew not but that my
brother-in-law was slain at Hochst, at once I sent a trumpeter to the
enemy to ask for my sister and ransom her: yet got no more thereby than
to learn the said party of troopers had been scattered in the Spessart by
a few peasants, and that in that fight my sister had again been lost to
them, so that to this hour I know not what became of her.” This and the
like made up the table-talk of the Governor and the pastor regarding my
hermit and his lady-wife: which pair were the more pitied because they
had enjoyed each other’s love but a year. But as to me, I became the
Governor’s page, and so fine a fellow that the people, specially the
peasants when I must announce them to my master, called me the young lord
already: though indeed one seldom sees a youngster that hath been a lord,
but oftentimes lords that have been youngsters.

Edited by Riley Haggin

===========================================================================

1 Kidney, in addition to referring to the organ, was also used to refer
to the temperament, nature, kind, class and sort of a person. "Kidney,"
The Oxford English Dictionary (Oxford: Claredon Press, 1989), vol. 8, p.
424.
2 A haberdasher sold a wide varitey of goods, which are now sold through
separate trades. In the sixteenth century haberdasher usually referred to
a dealer or maker of caps and hats. "Haberdasher," The Oxford English
Dictionary (Oxford: Claredon Press, 1989), vol. 6, p. 991.
3 Eremitism is a type of religious life characterized by solitariness. It
usually refers to monastic life, but can also be used to describe the
life of a religious hermit. This lifestyle originated in India, but was
later embraced by some early Christians. Christians who followed this
lifestyle took Jesus's advice to abandon all worldly things literally,
but they usually evoked the name of John the Baptist or Elijah since
Jesus did not advocate this solitary lifestyle. The first influential
Christian eremitic was Anthony, who was born around 250 AD. After
Anthony's death, his life inspired a new religious genre. "Eremitism,"
The Encyclopedia of Religion (New York: MacMillian Publishing Company,
1987), vol. 5, p.137-141.
4 The Spessart is a German mountain range located slightly southeast of
modern day Frankfurt and Hanau. "Spessart," The World Book Atlas
(Chicago: World Book, Inc., 1986), p. 120.
5 On June 22, 1622 a decisive battle of the Thirty Years' War took place
at Hochst. The Catholic Imperialist troops defeated the Protestant
Palatinate troops with minimal losses. The Palatinates, on the other
hand, lost 12,000 men, who were either killed, wounded or taken prisoner.
"Hochst, Thirty Years' War," Dictionary of Battles (New York: Stein and
Day, 1971), p. 130.
6 At Nordlingen, a city in southern Germany, another decisive battle of
the Thirty Years' War occurred on September 5-6, 1634. The coalition of
the Holy Roman Empire and the Spanish beat the Swedes, ending Swedish
domination of southern Germany. The outcome of this battle of forced
Cardinal Richelieu to actively bring France into the war. "Nordlingen,
Battle of," Encyclopedia Britannica (Chicago: Encyclopedia Britannica,
Inc., 1997), vol. 8, p. 761.
7 Hanau is a port in central Germany, east of Frankfurt. It is on the
right bank of the Main Canal and is at the mouth of the Kinzing. The town
was chartered in 1303. "Hanau," Encyclopedia Britannica (Chicago:
Encyclopedia Britannica, Inc., 1997), vol. 5, p. 676.
